Squatters' Paradise: Aussie Motel Casino's SHOCKING Secret!
Squatters' Paradise: Aussie Motel Casino - My Brain's Still Trying to Process It All… (A Review That's Probably Too Honest)
Okay, buckle up buttercups. This isn't your grandma's hotel review. This is me, post-Squatters' Paradise: Aussie Motel Casino, trying to make sense of… well, everything. Let's just say the “SHOCKING Secret!” in the title isn’t just clickbait. This place… it's an experience. And I'm still not entirely sure if it was a good experience.
Accessibility: Kinda-Sorta, But Let's Dig In
Right off the bat: Accessibility: The website claims to be wheelchair accessible. Okay. I didn't need a wheelchair this trip, but I always check these things. From what I saw… some areas appeared to be, like, the lobby? But navigating the vast, sprawling… complex… of the place? Well, good luck. Think “Aussie Outback meets a slightly-dodgy-but-determined-to-be-luxurious Vegas.” The lack of obvious signage specifically for accessibility gives me… pause. I'm not throwing shade, but I am being cautious and suggest a direct call ahead if you have specific mobility requirements. They do have an elevator (bless!), so that’s a tiny win.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I honestly didn't notice any specifically accessible restaurants, though, again, I didn't have a mobility issue to focus on.
Internet & Tech Stuff: Free Wi-Fi… Hurray? Sort Of…
Internet access: They bang on about free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! That's a big selling point these days, right? Well… yeah. Until you try to actually use it. Let's put it this way: I think I got better signal on my Tamagotchi in the 90s. Internet [LAN] was listed but I'm not sure if it was just in theory, it didn't work.
Internet services: Seemed pretty basic. I wouldn't try to run a Fortune 500 company from here.
Wi-Fi in public areas: Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.
Things to do & Ways to… Well, Maybe Relax?
Now things get wild. Let me get this straight: things to do include, playing at the casino, having a bite in the restaurants or snacking in the snack bar. Ways to relax… well, let’s see. They have a:
- Body scrub:
- Body wrap:
- Fitness center: (Which looked like it hadn't been touched since the 90s. Think rusty old treadmills and weights that look like they were sourced from a pirate ship.)
- Foot bath: (Intriguing, and I was tempted…)
- Gym/fitness: (See above)
- Massage: (Always a good thing, right?)
- Pool with view: (There was a pool, and you could sort of see a view, though it was mostly of other buildings, the parking lot, and a slightly overgrown garden.)
- Sauna: (I didn't dare)
- Spa: (Which, again, looked a bit tired, not a luxurious spa)
- Spa/sauna: (Yes, again)
- Steamroom: (I'm starting to see a theme here. Maybe too much steam for this experience!)
- Swimming pool: (Yes!)
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: (The same yes!)
So, the possibility of relaxation is definitely there. But the execution?… Let's just say the "Aussie" part of the name might be more about the laid-back approach to upkeep than a genuine luxurious experience.
Cleanliness & Safety: A Bit… Patchy?
Anti-viral cleaning products: They said they used them. I didn't bring a microscope. Breakfast in room: Breakfast takeaway service: Cashless payment service: Daily disinfection in common areas: Doctor/nurse on call: First aid kit: Hand sanitizer: Hot water linen and laundry washing: Hygiene certification: Individually-wrapped food options: Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Professional-grade sanitizing services: Room sanitization opt-out available: Rooms sanitized between stays: Safe dining setup: Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Shared stationery removed: Staff trained in safety protocol: Sterilizing equipment:
I mean, they seemed to be trying. But there were… moments. And let's be honest, that's the problem.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Rollercoaster of Flavors (and Dubious Choices)
Alright, buckle up. This is the heart of the experience, and boy, was it… something. The Restaurants were a mixed bag. They have one of everything! A la carte in restaurant; Alternative meal arrangement; Asian breakfast; Asian cuisine in restaurant; Bar; Bottle of water; Breakfast [buffet]; Breakfast service; Buffet in restaurant; Coffee/tea in restaurant; Coffee shop; Desserts in restaurant; Happy hour; International cuisine in restaurant; Poolside bar; Room service [24-hour]; Salad in restaurant; Snack bar; Soup in restaurant; Vegetarian restaurant; Western breakfast; Western cuisine in restaurant.
Then it starts to become obvious:
- A La Carte: Fine, but it was not really the type of place to order expensive items a la carte.
- Alternative meal arrangement:
- Asian breakfast: I was so curious I tried it. What a mistake
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Fine but it also felt a bit like a novelty.
- Bar: The bar was, shall we say, lively. Lots of interesting characters. Which is a polite way of saying it’s a bit of a dive. But hey, the beer was cold!
- Bottle of water: Okay, fair enough
- Breakfast [buffet]: I did not dare try the buffet
- Breakfast service:
- Buffet in restaurant:
- Coffee/tea in restaurant:
- Coffee shop:
- Desserts in restaurant:
- Happy hour:
- International cuisine in restaurant:
- Poolside bar:
- Room service [24-hour]:
- Salad in restaurant:
- Snack bar:
- Soup in restaurant:
- Vegetarian restaurant:
- Western breakfast:
- Western cuisine in restaurant:
The Room Service was on time, but that's the best I can say. The food?… Let's just say it was memorable. In a "I'll never forget that processed cheese product" kind of way.
Services and Conveniences: The Good, The Bad, and the… Well, Let's Call It "Unique."
Air conditioning in public area: (Whew, yes!) Audio-visual equipment for special events: (Probably for the bingo night) Business facilities: (Okay, this might be a stretch… maybe a fax machine in a dusty corner?) Cash withdrawal: (Handy, because you'll lose it all at the casino) Concierge: (Bless their hearts, they tried.) Contactless check-in/out: Convenience store: (Essentials only… and maybe some questionable snacks) Currency exchange: (Useful if you've just hit the jackpot (or lost it) at the casino…) Daily housekeeping: (Yes! Thank goodness!) Doorman: (Yes!) Dry cleaning: (Possibly, but I wouldn't trust my favorite shirt) Elevator: (Essential!) Essential condiments: Facilities for disabled guests: (Potentially, see Accessibility above) Food delivery: (From… where? Don't ask.) Gift/souvenir shop: (Mainly keychains with the motel's logo… and maybe some other… treasures.) Indoor venue for special events: (Bingo? Karaoke night? The possibilities are endless!) Invoice provided: (Hallelujah!) Ironing service: (Yep) Laundry service: (Good) Luggage storage: (Yep) Meeting/banquet facilities: (Again, I wouldn’t show up to a business meeting here, probably) Meetings: (See above) Meeting stationery: (Good lord, no) On-site event hosting: Outdoor venue for special events: Projector/LED display: (For… the world cup games?) Safety deposit boxes: (Smart) Seminars: (No.) Shrine: (Unexpected, but okay)
The Orion Greater Kailash: Delhi's Most Luxurious Apartment?
Alright, strap in, buttercups, 'cause we're about to embark on a mental road trip – to Squatters Homestead Motel Casino Australia. Which, just the name alone… chef's kiss. This isn't your meticulously planned, Instagram-perfect itinerary, oh no. This is the crumpled, slightly beer-stained map in the glove compartment of reality. Buckle up, it's gonna get…interesting.
Day 1: Arrival and Disillusionment… with a Side of Surprise!
Morning (ish): Flight into…well, I forget the specific airport name. Doesn't matter, it's in the Outback. I landed. That's the important part. Initial impression? Vast. Red. And surprisingly…silent. Where are the didgeridoos? The kangaroos boxing? I swear, the Aussie hype is lying. Or maybe it's just 6 AM and everyone's still asleep, nursing a hangover from the, I don't know, Australia Day celebrations of…yesterday?
- Anecdote: The luggage carousel? A complete circus. My bag – clearly the rebel of the bunch – decided to holiday in Bangkok. Brilliant. My carefully curated "Outback Chic" wardrobe (read: sensible hiking boots and a hat the size of a small pizza) was MIA. Wonderful start.
Afternoon: The drive to Squatters. Endless roads. The kind that make you question your life choices. Saw a sign that said "Beware: Camels Crossing." Camels?! I thought this was Australia, not…oh, right, the Outback. The motel? It's…charming. In a "lived-in" kind of way. The lobby smells faintly of stale cigarettes and…hope? I'm not entirely sure.
- Quirk: The front desk clerk – "Bruce" – had more nose hair than actual hair on his head. I'm not judging, I'm just…observing. And he seemed permanently mid-sentence. "Yeah, room 17… keys… uh, you got a good…you know…weather's been…." I didn't understand anything he said. Truly, I'm a local.
Evening: The dreaded "check-in." Room 17. It's… functional. Think slightly stained carpet, a bed that might be older than I am, and a view of… the car park. But, hey, there's a working TV. And a mini-fridge. Priorities. Then the discovery: A tiny, tiny balcony. Yes, my own private balcony! I could actually hear the crickets. I decided I’d make it my own, a small oasis of calm amid the chaos.
- Emotion: Pure, unadulterated joy. Even though everything screamed “budget,” this felt like mine. The very first sunset I saw from there was magical. I swear, it looked like the sky spontaneously burst into flames, then slowly morphed into a watercolor painting. And the smell of the red earth and the… whatever was cooking from the motel restaurant… I didn't even care about my suitcase.
First Dinner (and the Casino Debut): The motel restaurant. Surprisingly decent pub fare. Ordered a burger. It was…big. Maybe too big. But the camaraderie of it all was so much fun. I met a truck driver who boasted he’d driven across the Outback a million times (probably an exaggeration, but still impressive). He knew every single road detail, every pothole, every good spot for a pee break. I told him about my missing luggage, and he just laughed. "Welcome to the Outback, mate!"
- Opinion: The Casino? A bit sad, to be honest. A handful of tired-looking slot machines, a few grizzled men nursing beers, and that pervasive feeling of…lost dreams. Played a few rounds of…something. Lost a few dollars. Decided to cut my losses. The experience felt more like an existential commentary on gambling, and that’s something; I’m starting to enjoy the experience overall.
Day 2: Embracing the Outback, and My Inner Idiot!
Morning: The “Outback Tour.” Yes, I know. Touristy. But I figured it was the thing a tourist…me…was meant to do. The bus? Filled with people who were doing their best at being overly joyous. And I mean, it worked, because my first reaction was to laugh like a maniac - what else could I do?
- Rant: The tour guide was a fountain of dad jokes. I swear, he could have made a career out of it. "Why did the kangaroo give up on poker? Because it kept getting dealt a bad hand!" Okay, Murray. Okay.
Afternoon: The Great Outdoors. The "Uluru experience" was so underwhelming at first. It seemed so far away, in the sun. It was, though, as the sun went down that night - pure magic. I could see the rocks light up red, and the stars burst into life. It was as if the world itself put on a show, just for us.
- Emotion: I swear, I almost cried. The sheer beauty of the place was overwhelming. It felt… sacred. I’m not a touchy-feely type, but Uluru did something to me. I’m not quite sure what yet, but something.
Evening: Back at the motel. Dinner again. And the same truck driver. “You still here, mate? Still got no bag?” He chuckled. And I realized, despite the missing luggage, the dad jokes, and the slightly depressing casino, I was strangely…content. I was there, in the Outback, and it felt a bit like the beginning of some wild adventure.
- Impression: I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring, but I have a feeling it will be… interesting. Probably full of potholes (in both the literal and metaphorical sense). And I wouldn’t change it. Except, you know, I’d really like my luggage.
Day 3: Unplanned Detour and the Unfathomable…
Morning: Woke up feeling… surprisingly good. The balcony really is doing the trick. Coffee, bacon, and a glorious sunrise over the… car park.
Afternoon: The Road Less Traveled: A spontaneous decision. I rented a car. A tiny, beat-up thing that barely seemed road-worthy. But I needed to get away from the tourist traps. And I wanted to experience that Outback road. So I drove. I drove for hours. No map. No plan. Just a dusty track and the vastness of the landscape. And it was the best thing I did.
- Anecdote: I got lost. Utterly and completely lost. The GPS gave up about an hour in. I panicked. Briefly. Then, out of nowhere, a flock of emus – yes, emus! – decided to have a race across the road in front of me. All my cares faded. I started laughing again. At myself.
Evening: The Unexpected: Found a tiny, ramshackle pub in a town with one street, ten houses, and a population of…maybe five? The bartender was a woman called "Sheila" who looked like she'd seen a few things. (Understatement.) She served me the best damn burger I'd ever had. And she shared stories about her life. About storms, droughts, and the strange beauty of the Outback. A place where you don't feel like you are in a place at all.
- Quirk: The conversation? Surreal. "You see those stars?" Sheila gestured vaguely with her beer. "They been here a while, you know? And they don't give a damn who you are." Wisdom and burgers. It was perfect.
Night: On the way back to the motel I thought I would take a few photos under a sky full of stars, and I got stuck out there for a few hours. Finally, I got back in the car, covered in dirt. I was never so tired.
- Thought: The missing luggage, the casino, the dad jokes… It didn't matter anymore. I was experiencing something that was raw and authentic, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, even my favorite shirt.
Day 4: Goodbye, Squatters, and… Good Riddance?
Morning: The final breakfast. I walked up to Bruce, and tried to tell him about all the roads I drove, but he was too busy talking to the others.
Afternoon: Finally, my luggage arrived. Of course, it's the day I leave. Perfect timing.
Evening: As I sat on the plane, ready to leave, I realized, that the place was amazing. Yeah, the hotel…it was not the best, the casino was weird, the people were unusual, but the memories I made felt pure. I am sure to visit again.
- Emotion: I’m sad to leave. Honestly. It’s weird to admit, but even the slightly depressing motel and the terrible slot machines… They were part of the experience.
- Opinion: Squatters Homestead Motel Casino Australia? It's not for everyone. But for me? It was a journey. A messy, chaotic, unpredictable journey. And that, my friends, is
Squatters' Paradise: Aussie Motel Casino's SHOCKING Secret! - FAQ (and a Whole Lot More...)
Okay, so, what's the *actual* headline? What's this "Shocking Secret"? Spill!
Alright, alright, I'll cut the dramatic intro (mostly). The whole shebang? Apparently, the Aussie Motel Casino is – or *was* – riddled with squatters. Like, full-blown, using-the-pool-as-a-personal-spa, living-in-the-rooms-rent-free squatters. How they pulled it off? Well, THAT'S the juicy bit. It’s a glorious mess. I heard a rumor that the management's response was... let's just say *less than proactive.* My mate, Barry, who's seen some stuff, called it a "masterclass in institutional incompetence."
Is this... legal? Like, is it *actually* a casino? And a motel? What even *is* the Aussie Motel Casino?!
Legality? Bit of a grey area, mate. I’d wager that the local constabulary weren't exactly thrilled. "Casino" is used *very* loosely. I'm talking the kind of casino where the high rollers are probably playing tiddlywinks and the only "dealer" is a grumpy old bloke who probably owes everyone money. The "motel" part? Well, that's where things get interesting. Or, you know, a complete disaster. It was a *motel* at one point... I think. Honestly, the whole place felt like it had been abandoned by a small, slightly bewildered god.
How did the squatters even *get* in? Like, were the doors unlocked? Did they just... walk in?
Oh, the access situation is GOLD. Barry tells me (and Barry's a former… let’s say *professional fixer*) it was a perfect storm of negligence and, frankly, laziness. Leaky security, barely any staff, rooms left unlocked for days on end… Think of it as a giant, open invitation. The stories... I heard one bloke just *picked* the lock on a back door. Another, a family, apparently just strolled in, claiming they were “cousins from out of town.” They ended up staying for six months, using the pool every bloody day like they owned the place. I mean, I can see the appeal honestly. Free pool and an even freer room. Bloody cheek, though.
So... what happened *after* the squatters moved in? Did they throw parties? Did they run the casino? Give me the dirt!
Oh, the post-squatter shenanigans... where do I even *begin*? Alright, *here's* my favorite anecdote: Barry swears he overheard a conversation where a squatter, a woman named Brenda with a voice like broken glass, was trying to negotiate a 'discount' on the 'rent' with… the *ghost* of a former maintenance man! Apparently, the ghost (named "Old Man Fitzwilliam") *knew* who had the key to the liquor cabinet. I mean, I have to admit I'm half sure this could be true!
Parties? You betcha! Rowdy, late-night, "bring your own beverages because we're not paying for room service" kind of parties. The casino thing? Well, let's just say the 'games' involved a deck of cards that looked like they’d been through a war and a pile of bottle caps. The squatters, I heard, had a whole system for “managing” the place. It wasn't elegant. Let's just say it involved a lot of shouting and vaguely menacing glares. I feel a bit wrong about the details, but I am sure it was just utterly chaotic.
What were the owners doing while all of this was happening?! Were they even *aware*?
Ah, the million-dollar question! From what I can gather, the ownership was… complex. Rumor has it they were a consortium of investors who were more interested in the *potential* of the land than, you know, the actual *motel* and *casino*. They probably were aware to some extent, but their response seemed to be a masterclass in "strategic inaction." Basically, they buried their heads in the sand. There were whispers of legal battles, insurance claims, and a general air of "let's just hope it all goes away on its own." Which, of course, it didn't. It was the kind of mess where the only winners were the squatters, and possibly, the guy who sold them all the dodgy knock-off snacks.
What's the *aftermath*? Are the squatters gone? Is the Aussie Motel Casino still... a thing?
Ah, the bittersweet ending. The squatters *are* gone. Eventually. By all accounts, it took a legal battle, several stern warnings, and a very persistent process server to dislodge them. I just hope Brenda got her discount on the liquor cabinet key from the maintenance man's ghost.
Is the Aussie Motel Casino still a thing? The last time I drove past (and I honestly haven't the stomach to go back), the place looked… desolate. Boarded-up windows, peeling paint, and a general air of "this place has seen things, and it's not keen to talk about them." I heard they *tried* to renovate, but the renovations… were also a disaster. The whole thing is a monument to mismanagement and the inherent chaos of the human condition. So, in a way, yes. It's *still* a thing. A very sad, very empty, very squatter-scarred thing.
Final thoughts? Anything else you want to add?
Just... wow. The whole Aussie Motel Casino thing is a cautionary tale, a black comedy, a… mess. It makes you wonder about the absolute audacity of people. The sheer brass neck of walking into a motel, setting up shop, and basically *running* the place. And the incompetence of the owners! It’s Shakespearean, in its own twisted way.
Also, if anyone knows Brenda, please tell her I'm thinking of her. And, if you happen to see a ghost named Fitzwilliam... tell him I said "G'day." This whole thing is absolutely bonkers and I can't stop thinking about it! Someone should make a movie…
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